Diary/Blogness

Tags: "cat"

Moree chatness.
01 Oct 2008 
It's been an eventful past couple of days in this area of life, to say the least.

Surprisingly, F told me that he liked me, I think on Friday. That kinda freaked me out. He wrote a mini-essay, after I knew, basically saying that he liked me and asked me out - ahhhh! I declined politely. He was a bit depressed for a short time before/after all this occured, but he seems to be fine now. I've said that I'll carry on as if it never happened...

Aaand H. He had been pestering me for a week or so to give him a straight answer as to whether or not I would go out with him. I would have loved to say yes to him straight away, but Im not one to take risks so I couldn't. I've thought of a few reasons why not:
  • I don't know what my friends would say. They were sceptical about D, partly because he was 5 years older than me, partly because I'd met him over the internet. Since that didn't work, I don't think they'd be too happy about me trying it again...
  • Having been out with D, I regret doing that. I wasn't thinking straight, but Im not entirely sure why... Possibly because I was missing H, but Im not sure whether that makes sense.
  • Also, I don't want it to not work if I did say yes. From past experience - it doesn't. I know that H is different to D, but I can't help but feel that the same thing could happen.
So I've had a number of conversations along these lines, all being depressing, because I don't know what to say to him. I don't know how to explain it. I don't want to look stupid when I do explain it - he's said that he wouldn't think any less of me, but when I said that I don't want to say yes because of what other people would think he seemed pretty miffed.

Yesterday he finally reluctantly gave up. I didn't want him to, but I don't blame him at all. Even I've been getting annoyed at myself for not giving an answer - I can only imagine how he feels about it.

But I have seen him again! It wasn't for long, but he was on cam. I managed to persuade him after he showed me Oz, his cat (so cute!) Unfortunately he doesn't seem to fond of cams though...

I haven't really spoken to him since he gave up. I hope we don't end up drifting apart - that would be so sad!
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